flip a coin

Last Sunday, I was driving along NLEX going home from Bulacan, a sudden thought popped into my mind: med school. For years (2 years to be accurate), I have been dwelling on whether or not I will pursue med school or not. I really want to, but of course I have to consider certain factors why I decided not to. First one is of financial concern. I’ve talked with my mom about pursuing med and she wilfully agreed to what I want. It’s but natural for parents to provide whatever they can to their children. But I feel that with today's economy, pursuing medicine is more of a luxury rather than a necessity. Another factor to consider is the length of taking up medicine. Oftentimes I’ve heard from almost everyone I know that "5 years" isn't that long and shall pass sooner than I think. But it still is 5 years. 5 years of studying and of being dependent again to my parents. 5 freaking years. And that's only the start of it. Hopefully, if I complete 5 years in med school, residency starts and so on and so forth. By the time I finish studying, I’ll probably be on my death bed already (ok, I may have exaggerated here, but who knows?). Another factor I’m considering is my life-long dream to migrate to another country; which is the reason why I took up nursing in the 1st place. Naturally, if I’m fortunate enough to be a licensed physician here, I’m going to practice here. Thus, ending my dream of living in another country.

I remember the conversation that me and bene had a few days ago; about choosing the career I really want. Maybe this is the "blind leap" she was talking about; the "kick in the ass" moment I need. Maybe I do have what it takes to be a successful MD. I’m still in a struggle whether to go for it or not. This decision will really turn my life in complete 180 degrees.

Last night, I had a good talk with a very good friend of mine, Toni. I told her my plans and though I noticed a little disappointment in her voice (because we made plans together of going to Canada), she still encouraged me into pursuing medicine. I continuously whined about what to do and how I can come up with a decision that I think is best, she just told me a simple solution, “Flip a coin”. A few moments later, after I ended my conversation with her, a text message came in that says,

“What will you do when faced with two choices?

Simply toss a coin...

It works not because it settles the question for you,

But because in that brief moment when the coin is in the air...

You suddenly know what you’re hoping for...”